Simmer Dates: Add dates and coconut milk to a small saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium-low heat. Reduce heat to keep at a low simmer, stirring often and pressing dates into the liquid, until they're very soft and the mixture thickens slightly, 7 to 10 minutes.
Process and Blend: Transfer mixture to a food processor and add the vanilla and salt. Process until smooth, 3 to 5 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides as needed. If the mixture is too thick to blend easily, add a splash more coconut milk, a teaspoon or two at a time. You’re aiming for a thick, spoonable consistency, not a pourable sauce.
Adjust and Chill: Taste and adjust the salt or vanilla if needed. Transfer to a serving bowl or an airtight container (leave the lid off while it cools). Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving, or cool completely, cover, and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks. The caramel thickens as it chills but stays soft enough to scoop straight from the jar.
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Notes
Yields about 1 1/2 cups of date caramel.
For Even Softening: Press the dates firmly with a wooden spoon while simmering to ensure the coconut milk penetrates the centers.
Storage Tip: Keep the lid off the container while cooling to prevent condensation from thinning out your caramel.
Consistency Check: Aim for a "spoonable" texture; it should hold its shape on a spoon rather than running off like a syrup.